6 Unexpected Ways to Turn Him On

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In my last post, I complained that women rarely enlighten me. I usually meet female versions of "frat boys" or "meatheads." So, what makes someone interesting enough to enlighten men — and thereby turn them on?

You've got a head start if you think differently. I'm tired of hearing the same old thing, meeting women who seem to follow the masses and can't think on their own. Instead, I want to experience how your mind works. I want that amazing mental buzz (similar to the one I get when I laugh with someone) every time we talk — that's the type of thing that keeps me intrigued and attracted to you 'til death do us part.

Here are a few unexpected ways women can enlighten the opposite sex:

1. She Appreciates "Nontraditional" Beauty

I love feedback — the squealing sound produced by guitars held close to amps. Feedback sounds like a rusty door, a dying cat, or a pack of whales crying in the ocean. When I share the ultimate feedback song, Smashing Pumpkins' "Drown," with a girl, she usually refers to the feedback-laden ending as "senseless noise." But in my opinion, it's a carefully orchestrated, creative way to use a sonic element of the guitar.

This kind of beauty is visceral and different — many people shy away from it before they embrace it. I'd like to connect with a girl who is moved by different beauty, whatever it may be. (And it might very well be necessary, considering my looks certainly are not "traditionally" beautiful.)

2. She Faces Reality

People avoid reading about bad things that happen in the world, but it's important to have perspective and realize the world is good — and bad.

3. She Doesn't Do What Everyone Else Does

The media embraces certain things, and many people follow. But, to most guys, followers are boring, and independent thinkers are sexy.

Set trends on your own and buck established ones. It boils down to individuality and bravery — the originality and strength to break the mold and depart from the crowd.

4. She's Tuned in to the World

A few weeks ago, I read about a disease wiping out entire colonies of bats along the East Coast. The article confirmed my worst fears: As the bats disappear, the insect populations they feed on will explode. When I relay this story to most women I meet they say, "Why should I care?"

There seems to be a dearth of people who have a passion about the world. It's important to learn about places, people, historical events, facts, stories. If you can tell me something interesting that I didn't know already (which is a lot), you're set. If you only care about MTV, partying, and the latest fad, you're one-dimensional.

5. She Can Tell a Good Story

Storytelling is a gift that requires a sense of timing and an understanding of an audience. A good storyteller is intriguing but hard to find.

6. She Can Talk About "Boy Stuff"

Sometimes, I spout off "boy stuff" (read: sports) and unfairly expect a girl to keep up, but I do talk about my fair share of "girl stuff" — cooking, fashion, hair — to deserve a few conversations about serial killers, horror movies, and, yes, even porn.

What makes a guy enlightening to you? And what frustrates you about the boring guys you meet? Do you think I'm being too picky or setting my standards too high?

Follow me on Twitter: twitter.com/richravens

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