A friend of mine recently ended a relationship (opens in new tab)and now claims he can't wait to "sow his wild oats." I'm wondering how that experience could be as rewarding as
growing close to someone and falling in love. (opens in new tab)
So, I weighed the pros and cons:
It's Not That Easy To Do
I strike out just as often when I'm just looking to hook up as I do when I'm looking for a girlfriend. It's depressing because I set goals (get laid by as many women as possible) (opens in new tab) and don't meet those goals. It's like trying to figure out nuclear fusion: It would be awesome if I could do it, but I'm not capable.
You Might Miss a Better Opportunity
If you're determined to sow your wild oats, you might just let that special person pass you by if they come along at the wrong time.
There are times when people want fun, void of emotion. (opens in new tab) But isn't an emotional connection more fulfilling? After you sow enough wild oats, you might reflect back and find that your experiences haven't amounted to anything outside of temporary exhilaration.
You all know I have an acute fear of every STD in the book (opens in new tab)...not to mention unintended pregnancy. Is it worth the risk?
It Makes You Feel Cheap
As you go from person to person, the spontaneity and fun may turn into shame. Many people who set out to sew their wild oats accept that they are going to be compromising traditional morals.But, after a while, it's not uncommon to feel bad about yourself if you're stringing together flings. (opens in new tab)
It Convinces You That You're "Ready"
People seem more prone to get into relationships once they've purged the "bad side" from their systems. (opens in new tab)
It Eliminates Regret
One common male regret is not playing the field enough before settling down. If that regret follows you into a marriage, it can get dangerous. (opens in new tab)
I've come to the conclusion that sowing your wild oats is overrated. People who need to do it are most likely not "relationship"-oriented. It's all relative — some might say that my two one-night stands qualify as "wild oats." (opens in new tab)I think that it takes a lot more than that, but then again I'm conservative.
What do you think are the pros and cons of this kind of behavior? Do you believe it's necessary to go through this phase before you can get into a relationship?
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