He's Just Not That Into Me

After morning sex and breakfast, I ask Sam if he really wants to be exclusive. He says yes.

single sex and couple sex
(Image credit: J. Rew)

Jess, 24, nurse, Boston

MONDAY 10 a.m., Sam's place: Sam and I met about two months ago. We dated for a month, then broke it off because he wasn't ready to be exclusive. But I bumped into him a couple of weeks ago, and we started hanging out again. This is our second sleepover during Phase Two. I hope things work out, but I won't push him into anything.

6 p.m., work: So much for playing it cool. Call Sam to ask if things are going to progress. He says, "Probably not," and mentions that he's also dating someone else. I know I should ditch him, but there are so many little things he does--like spooning me or kissing my forehead--that make me think things could move forward.

12 a.m., bar: Another guy I've dated, Mateo, calls. Begs me to come over. Opt not to go, since last time we hooked up, he wanted me to . . . attend to his butt.

TUESDAY 11:30 p.m., home: Sam and I make last-minute plans to celebrate his birthday tomorrow.

WEDNESDAY 11:55 p.m., Sam's place: After dinner and drinks, he mentions that maybe he'll stop seeing this other girl.

THURSDAY 11 a.m., Sam's place: After morning sex and breakfast, I ask Sam if he really wants to be exclusive. He says yes.

11:45 p.m., Alex's place: Alex is a guy whom I'd made plans to hang out with before Sam and I talked about being exclusive. Decided to keep the date, mainly to protect myself, because I don't believe Sam's going to break it off with the other girl. I spend the night.

FRIDAY 11:55 p.m., Sam's place: Watching Arrested Development and feeling guilty about the night before.

SATURDAY 1 p.m.,, Sam's place: He's making French toast. See his phone lying next to the computer. I look through his call log and accidentally dial a number. I come clean--and Sam is pissed. I leave. He doesn't take any of my calls for the rest of the day.

SUNDAY 3 p.m., home: Just got back after leaving a note on Sam's door saying I think we should talk.

5 p.m., home: He texts me: "Jess, I don't think we should continue this." I call to say I'm coming over. I want to talk in person.

8 p.m., home: It's over. The phone incident was the deal-breaker. Why am I not surprised?

-as told to Maura Kelly

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