Your face needs one of these immediately.
7 days. 14 Orgasms. The results don't lie.
I need all of these ASAP.
Read this before trying any new products.
But don't freak—it's totally treatable.
It's my holy-grail skincare product.
Is nothing safe anymore?!
Ummm, same. Same.
Three steps to smooth, happy skin.
It's not for everybody.
Welcome to the fast track to really, really, really good skin.
Excuse me while I buy 10 jars.
"I steamed my face with boric acid—the stuff that kills cockroaches."
*Buys 10 tubes of retinol immediately*
I.e., how to get the skin you want by doing as little as humanly possible.
Please remove those spoons from your freezer.
"The juicy, pus-filled zits—they’re the safest to squeeze."
Other than make your face look freaking phenomenal.
Every possible treatment for your price point, your patience, and your pain tolerance.