Lovelies:

I had a different post planned for today
... but I just got an email from Daisy Milliner reminding me that she
and I are going to see a play on Sunday night. I'd completely forgotten. But then I
flipped open my datebook and saw that, indeed, we'd made plans--and also realized that Sunday is V-DAY! I'm so thankful that we have
something tres cool to do because usually when I'm single on V-DAY (i.e. always), I feel
really depressed, and I sit home eating peanut-butter-and-jellies in my
flannel pajamas and watching Todd Solondz movies. Guuuh.

But why should any of us single people sit at home feeling awkward on V-DAY?

Single people, let's revolt, shall we?

LET US NOT BE OPPRESSED BY THE V-DAY-CELEBRATING MAJORITY!*

Let
us seize this heart-themed holiday and make it our own! Let us enter
into an alliance! Let us resist the modern bourgeois society that has
sprouted from the ruins of feudal
society and continues to insist the entire country celebrate this
holiday with roses, chocolates, and the wearing of red!

Yes? Shall we?

If you want to join me in this revolt, please engage in one of the following activities on V-DAY:

1) Go out to dinner with a big group of your buddies. Celebrate your friendships--most of which are going to last longer than any romantic fling anyway.

2) Get physical in the great outdoors with a friend. Go for a hike, a long bike ride, or a brisk walk along some spot with a nice view of the water (whether it's the ocean, a lake or the Hudson River).
A little air in my lungs and the wind against my (butt) cheeks always makes me
feel better when I'm saturnine--and so does a view of some natural
beauty. (Did I just say butt cheeks? Am I planning on being naked for my outing? Maybe I am!)

3) Wear a monochrome outfit. Just make sure your one
color is not red. Think yellow. Blue. Green. Purple. And when someone
asks you what your deal is, explain that you are rebelling against the
V-DAY oppression.

4) Rock out at an awesome concert. Because
there, it will be all about the music. Maybe you'll even find someone
groovy to make out with! If I wasn't going to the play, I might go see
Jonathan Richman (mischievous lead singer of the former band Modern Lovers and also the guy who was also popping up with his guitar in Something About Mary).

5) Read some Rilke. Particularly the first of Duino Elegies.
He's a bad-ass when it comes to making an argument about why being single is, well, pretty bad-ass. As he says: Is it--the night, the darkness, the unknowingness,
life itself--any less difficult for lovers? But they keep on using
each other to hide their own fate.

Lovelies ... what should we add to this list? And what are you all doing on V-DAY?

xxx

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*Married people--like you, my darling Edwinna--I still love you. Just being rowdy today.

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dear commenters:

-amber: i liked the garden metaphor. butterflies. nice.

-CS: thanks for the little pep talk, sweet pea.

-Mandi: yes, you gotta push through it and do some more Internet dating. dunno what generation you are, but i know peeps of all ages have found love thata way.

-Hi Edwinna!

What Do You Think?