It is a great honor for someone to ask you to be in their wedding party, but for some bridesmaids, the experience can involve far more stress than fun (like the unlucky bridesmaid who was asked to dye her hair, because ginger was not in the color scheme).
On this occasion, an Australian bridesmaid — who calls herself Hayley — wrote about her experience on Mamamia.com, saying that she was initially "overjoyed" when her friend Caroline asked her to be part of her wedding party. However, her "joy quickly turned to utter despair" when the bride began getting obsessive about every aspect of her nuptials — from the buttonholes for the groomsmen to the table decorations.
The bride then asked her unfortunate bridesmaid to make an Excel document of cake-maker suggestions – including the pricing, contact information, flavours and "prestige" level — which she wanted later that same day.
"Hey Hayley, How's it going?" the first email goes. "I need some cake-maker suggestions by COB [close of business] today please, Jase and I really want to get a wriggle on with this and need the contact details, price brackets, flavours and an idea of how prestigious the vendor is – in a table would be great. Excel is probably best please. Thanks!"
Hayley, who is a school teacher and therefore quite busy, complied when she had time the following day, apologizing for taking a little longer than was originally requested — something the bride did not seem to appreciate.
On Saturday morning, I cancelled my breakfast plans, instead researching Tasmanian wedding-cake makers (she'd decided to have a picturesque destination wedding) that might be suitable. I sent it through to her and had a reply almost immediately. "Thanks for this, would've been really helpful to have it yesterday when specified, but I appreciate it."
The bride also insisted on shopping for three consecutive weekends to find the perfect wedding gown and bridesmaid dresses — a lot of time to ask of seven friends to dedicate to your special day. Those they found for the bridesmaids were $550 each, very little in comparison with the price of Caroline's gown.
She selected a beautiful designer wedding dress, but it was priced at $10,500, which was twice the amount allotted in her budget. The other bridesmaids told her to "totally splurge," which she did... only to later request that they "pitch in" for her "dream dress." Her reasoning? It would be a sentimental treasure that all the bridesmaids would have a part in if they paid for it.
"That night, my inbox pinged again with another of the group emails from Caroline that I'd started to dread," Hayley recalls. "The subject line was "Bridesmaid dress contribution" and it made me break out into a cold sweat. The latest bridal update was a long email outlining how she and Jase were hugely over their bridal budget now that she'd splurged on the dress. That it was 'totally fine if you can't' but she would really love if we could 'pitch in' around AU$150 each towards her 'dream dress'. That it'd mean so very much to her and would mean that as she walked down the aisle, she'd be wearing something we'd all had a part in."
The author goes on to explain how she felt enraged by the request. Three of the seven bridesmaids have already stated that they are happy to chip in for the dress, but the disenchanted writer was not so willing to contribute. In fact, she says that she is starting to think she may "have to bail on this wedding – and friendship." To be honest, it sounds like her bank account and sanity would thank her.
[h href='http://www.mamamia.com.au/bridesmaid-dilemma-friendship/' target='_blank">Mamamia']