10 Perfect Breakup Texts for Every Kind of Guy

Let him down (not so) gently with these digital dumpers. Use at your own discretion.

Women texting
(Image credit: Getty Images)

We've all been there: It's time to clean house, but the idea of seeing his face when you do it makes you gag. Fear not: We've come up with 10 foolproof dismissals guaranteed to get the message across. Just cut and paste your way to freedom, regardless of the special kind of fool on the receiving end.

For the produce enthusiast:

Text for the produce enthusiast

(Image credit: JEN BAUMGARDNER)

For the E! enthusiast:

Text for the E! enthusiast

(Image credit: JEN BAUMGARDNER)

For the clotheshorse:

Text for the clotheshorse

(Image credit: JEN BAUMGARDNER)

For the a-hole:

Text for the a-hole

(Image credit: JEN BAUMGARDNER)

For the mama-knows-best boy:

Text for the mama-knows-best boy

(Image credit: JEN BAUMGARDNER)

For the couch potato:

Text for the couch potato

(Image credit: JEN BAUMGARDNER)

For the family man:

Text for the family man

(Image credit: JEN BAUMGARDNER)

For the other family man:

Text for the other family man

(Image credit: JEN BAUMGARDNER)

For the gullible guy:

Text for the gullible guy

(Image credit: JEN BAUMGARDNER)

For the really gullible guy:

Text for the really gullible guy

(Image credit: JEN BAUMGARDNER)

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Having Babies Is Not a Feminist Issue (opens in new tab)

Writer. Things I appreciate: Ghosts, white wine, men who look like they could protect me from predators, and a great homemade deviled egg. Also, I have a VERY ambivalent obsession with Sex and The City but I'm not like any of them, other than maybe Miranda's cat.