Sweet Jesus, has my dating life been slow lately. What gives? Not since the God-believer and the poetry-loving-lawyer have I been out on a date. The one interesting single guy I ran into at my college reunion lives a million miles away (and it's not like he's begging to come visit). I can't REMEMBER the last time I was at a decent party.
The Internet personals site I use has been letting me down lately, too. Usually, thanks to the online yentas, I get to go on at least one or two interesting dates a month. But lately almost nada has been coming my way via the online matchmakers.
Over the weekend, I did receive an email from a certain totally hot number. He looks a little like Crispin Glover, only more normal and more masculine. He's tall, he has an artsy-yet-stable career, he's well-read and — maybe best of all — he states clearly in his profile that he's looking for someone who wants to be in a serious relationship.
So, what's the problem?
There are two.
Problem No. 1: He's a father!
Yes — he has a kid. Whom he mentions, like, six times in his profile.
(Hello, Hot Daddy! Is that a baby in your banana hammock, or are you just happy to see me?)
In the past, the very idea of dating a single father has freaked me out — perhaps because my father was a single father. I tend to think: "Any single father would never have enough room in his heart for me. I'll always be second fiddle."
I'm sure part of the reason I feel that way is because after my father became a widower, he never took any of his girlfriends too seriously; my sister and I were the only humans who really mattered to him. As he repeatedly told us — and his girlfriends. (That might sound cute, and maybe it is, but I also think it was a little unhealthy.)
But hey: Not everyone is my father, right? There are single fathers who are quite capable of loving both their kids and their girlfriends. In fact, one of my very dearest friends (porn star name: Maybelline Mifflin) is now married to a guy who had two kids before they met. He and M.M. now have two new babies of their own — four kids all told — and they're one of the happiest families around. Also, if any man loves his wife more than Theo loves M.M., I have yet to meet him.
Here's another thing: I kinda don't want to have my own babies. Above and beyond the fear of what pregnancy will do to my body, I frankly am terrified by the idea of the inescapable commitment. But I do love little people and I think it could be fun to hang around with one or a few of them. Especially if the tiny hooligans didn't live with me.
So, this guy could very well be perfect ... right?
Will he spank me? Will I like that?
More seriously, here's Problem No. 2: After we exchanged a few emails, he wrote to say: "Let's go for a walk through Central Park and then get a glass of wine!"
And I wrote back to say, "Sounds great!"
And that was, like, four days ago. And I haven't heard a word since.