Like a mechanical sex bull, you just plug it into the wall and ride the vibrating, rotating rubber dildo. It comes with a demo DVD and detachable 3-inch, 3 3/4-inch, and 5-inch "vaginal inserts," plus a 45-day trial with a money-back guarantee. ($1315)
Don't let the gynecological look of this thing put you off. Just lie down so the rubber penis is aimed between your legs and can pump back and forth. Add-ons include technology that allows your partner to log on to a smart phone or computer and "pleasure" you from a remote location. Isn't it romantic? These machines are custom-made, so the price starts at $4200 and can go as high as $30,000, depending on the "teledildonic" extras.
Just lie down and slide the base of the machine under the bed so that it's sturdy and the rubber penis is running horizontally above the mattress and between your legs. There's a remote control, with which you can adjust the speed from 0 to 280 pumps per minute. Its creator likens this toy to a "household appliance." More of a gentle jackhammer, no? ($1495)
Sort of an X-rated Pilates, it's low-tech — no batteries, no motor, no sound. All you do is get on the knee pads, grab the handle, and rock back and forth at your own pace, dildo in place. ($800)