Resident dating blogger, Maura Kelly interviews pick-up artist and bestselling author of The Game Neil Strauss. Find out how to become an expert flirt in nine steps.
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STEP 1: Learn the Art of Eye Contact Don't shy away from staring him down, but do it the right way. Ease into it by practicing triangular gazing, where you look at one eye, then the other, then at their mouth. Strauss says practicing this for just a day will get you ready to start learning to interact with guys you're attracted to. Once you've locked eyes, keep looking: one study showed that it takes about thirteen glances before the average guy approaches a woman!
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STEP 2: Practice Small Talk Before you approach a guy you're into, make sure you've got the basics of small talk down. "Challenge yourself to go out and make small talk with five strangers today," advises Strauss. "Don't worry about whether they're people you want to date. Approach grandfathers, other women, someone who's not your type, whomever you come across. It'll help you adjust to stepping out of your comfort zone." Don't get too comfortable chatting away. The conversation topics to avoid.
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STEP 4: Don't Think Before You Speak Don't think too long before you open your mouth--it'll come off unnatural and awkward. "People sense it when something sounds too pre-meditated; that makes them uncomfortable," Strauss says. Eyeing the cutie on your morning commute? Strike up a conversation with these 5 pointers for flirting on public transportation.
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Sex in the Workplace
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STEP 6: Set a Time Limit Within the first 60 seconds of your conversation, Strauss says, immediately mention that you have some kind of time constraint, whether or not you do. Is he slow to get the hint and ask you out? How to get him to ask for your number.
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STEP 7: Neg Him The trick when you're flirting, Strauss says, is "figuring how to keep a balance between being engaging enough to retain someone's attention and not seeming overly available." Tease him a little and call him out by saying something like, "Oh sure you do..." Should you play hard to get? Real guys give their opinion.
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STEP 8: Lower Your Expectations Flirt for the sake of flirting. "If you meet a really high-quality guy and you're really attached to the idea of him being your boyfriend, that pressure—that neediness—is something he'll sense," Strauss warns. No luck? You might be looking to meet men in the wrong places: the five locales NOT to meet men.
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