She Used Me, Abused Me

A smart, funny, attractive guy who not only admits to being clueless about women but is willing to share his dating diary? Tap your inner Bridget Jones by offering him your advice.

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Have I told you ladies about how I was once taken advantage of? The situation has stuck with me for years and I find myself going back to it - replaying it in my head quite often lately.

You see, a girl took advantage of me. She, for lack of a better way to describe this - rode me like a pummel horse at the gym

I had no idea that you women could do that?! I always thought that - even though sex is mutual - it's usually the guy who has sex with the girl (as opposed to the girl who has sex with the guy). Well ladies - I admit it, I was proven wrong. Very, very wrong.

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Here's the story:

A girl I met in college, Melissa, was dating a very scary thuggish man (I still consider myself a boy or guy - definitely not a man). His name was Dominic, as in "dominate" or "dominion". He enjoyed fighting. He was ready to kill at any time. In fact, in the middle of all this, I underwent chemotherapy and he was about to beat me up while I had no hair and was frail from the treatment. At least he was an equal opportunity ass-kicker. Melissa was out of my league anyway. The only thing I had going for me was that I was nice to her and that I made her laugh, unlike her boyfriend.

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Somehow, I played the whole thing correctly. I sent her mix CD's - yes, I'm that cheesy. I became the guy she confided in when Dominic was rude or unruly. It's a fine line, that place. You either become the friend immediately or, if you play it perfectly, you become the better option for the girl who is looking for a connection while questioning her relationship. She lived in New York at the time and I was in Baltimore, so I'd throw in "when are you going to come see me?" from time to time.

Then, one day, she did. I was so stupid at the time, I didn't realize this meant sex. I was totally unprepared — except for decorating my apartment with these weird looking candleholders. Nothing but the best.

Melissa came down to Baltimore and the first half of the night was a blur. We ended up back at my place having sex. My first problem was that I was completely stunned by the time I realized that I was indeed, well - doing the deed. Instead of enjoying it, I decided to contemplate and theorize about how I got to this point. It couldn't have been the candleholders. I was sure Dominating Dominic was still in the picture as well.

After the sex was over, I felt somewhat cheap. She looked at me and said: "go sit on the floor." I had no choice but to oblige. She mounted me and rode me like I had never been ridden before. Aside from feeling like a complete tool, the worst part of the experience is that I realized I was getting rug burn on my ass. I began to fixate on the rug burn, wondering how big it was going to get, if it would cause a permanent scar on my ass like the faded scars I have on my knees from soccer games on turf.

When it was over, she put me in the bed and got next to me, and I don't know if we cuddled or not, but I remember reaching around every chance I got to touch my ass to see if there was anything alarming festering where the rug burn had been sustained.

The next morning, I saw Melissa off. Then, the most disturbing part of the experience ensued. She ignored me. No amount of Dominic mess-ups, mix CD's, or anything could get her to return one of my calls. She was gone.

I was the guy. It was my job to screw the girl then disappear.

I have not spoken to her since, but I have learned a lesson: Girls can have sex with guys. With my rug-burned ass as my witness, Melissa did the fucking that night. Melissa came to Baltimore, used me, and then left.

And, although the rug burn has subsided - I'm still stunned.

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