A man is someone who will not stand for a gentle high-five. When faced with a flimsy-five, he must repeat the action again and again until he is satisfied with the strength, loudness, and redness caused by the forceful vertical meeting of two hands.
A man can do nothing but fumble and cower in the formidable shadow of his arch-nemesis, "The Bra."
A man is unapologetic, unless he knows you are mad at him, in which case he is busy.
A man is someone who, at some point, will sport a handlebar mustache or secretly wish he could.
A man goes through toilet paper at a surprisingly slow rate.