I've never thought of myself as an eyelash extensions kind of girl. In my mind, eyelash-extensions girls are also spray-tan, gel-manicure, Brazilian-wax girls, which is not to say high-maintenance (okay, maybe a little) so much as committed to a certain level of beauty that requires more effort—and exposure—than I'm willing to put in.
But after multiple eyelash-extensions girls told me how much time they save in the morning, I figured it'd be irresponsible not to try them. So I made an appointment with Xtreme Lashes, and here's what I learned.
1. You will hear the words "diva," "glam," and "drama" a lot during your consultation. For some, this will excite you—it's the reason you're getting fake eyelashes, after all! I, on the other hand, took a step back and whimpered something about being more Shailene Woodley than Whitney Houston.
2. The process is long.
Like, three hours long. And you can't look at your phone. The upside? It was probably the closest I've ever gotten to being in a zen, meditative head space.
3. You will be shocked when the technician hands you the mirror.
Try not to think about the fact that these long, full, perfectly curled lashes (that look fake, yes, but also so seamless and natural) are not yours and won't last.
4. With great lashes comes great responsibility.
Everyone talks about how extensions mean no more curling your lashes or applying mascara;
5. Batting your lashes is a real thing.
I caught myself doing it every time I passed a mirror and felt flirty even in sweatpants, glasses, and acne cream. If you didn't take selfies before, you do now.
6. Tone down your expectations of other people.
I prepared myself for a flood of compliments every time I left the house; in reality, I ended up an inch away from my mom's face, heavily blinking and demanding, "Notice anything different?!"
7. You really need that blow dryer and brush.
Because after showers, your lashes look like a sopping wet tarantula, and on windy days, they arrange themselves into a crisscross formation.
8. You will slip up.
If you're like me, at around the two-week mark, you'll put on mascara even though you don't need to, go out and have a few too many margaritas, then briefly forget about your lashes as you're roughly scrubbing off your makeup at two in the morning. The evidence of your poor decisions will be scattered all over the pillowcase when you wake up.
9. Having only a handful of extensions is much, much worse than having no extensions. Try to resist plucking the final, awkward survivors. I couldn't and it hurt.
10. Life without lash extensions is easier—but less beautiful.
As it turns out, they were not low-maintenance—I worried about them constantly. Was I sleeping gently enough? Did I just accidentally itch my eyelid and knock one? Is my eye cream affecting their glue? They're kind of like a pair of satin, jewel-embellished Manolos that you can't actually wear anywhere for fear you'll scuff them.