I Lived Like an Instagram Celebrity for a Week and This Is What Happened

Hint: It's a whole lot of feeling uncomfortable in crop tops and very tight pants.

Amy Odell
(Image credit: Instagram / Kathleen Kamphausen)

I never thought I'd Instagram a photo of myself sitting in a bush in the middle of New York City eating a piece of watermelon big enough to kill a man. This being New York City, no one cared.

Except, that is, the team of eight people I managed to assemble for the purpose of recreating eight viral Instagram photos taken by some of the platform's biggest stars. My photo shoot ~squad~ included: a design director, a photographer, a videographer, a sound guy, a makeup artist, a hair stylist, a fashion editor, and a fashion intern. Yes, you could argue that the videographer and accompanying sound guy were gratuitous squad members but YOLO. Here's the resulting video to show you just how high-maintenance this shoot was.

As a fashion journalist early in my career, I spent a lot of time thinking about, writing about, and reporting on Internet fashion stars. The Blonde SaladsFashion ToastsStyle Bubbles, and Sincerely Juleses of the world. They became an influential force in the fashion industry when I started blogging for The CutNYMag.com's fashion blog. (You can read more stories about them in my new book, Tales From the Back Row: An Outsider's View From Inside the Fashion Industry, which you should definitely go buy right now!)

Their photos are immediately addictive. When I discover a well-followed person with amazing personal style, I go into stalker mode and scroll through as many of their pictures as I can before someone Gchats me, or my husband tells me to pay attention to him and put my phone down. I look at their photos and contemplate, Why do the ends of their hair never look stringy? Why is it that I want to be them even if all they're doing is standing in front of a fence? How come when they wear cutoffs and tank tops, they look cool and purposeful, but when I wear cutoffs and a tank top, I look like I'm about to hand-wash my mom's minivan?

In March, when I actually started using the Instagram account I had made last year but never updated, my instinct was to try to post photos that looked like a travel magazine meets a fashion photo shoot, like all my favorite people on Instagram. The goal was simple: to be #goals. Ideally with an infinity pool.

But my photos never looked anything like #goals. That's because, as I learned over the course of the day we spent recreating these eight famous photos, I wasn't following the below rules for creating perfect fashion Instagrams.

1. Find a flower and act very serious with it.

Amy Instagram Screen

(Image credit: Instagram)

White Top, LISAKAI (Available at Revolve), $75; Denim Shorts, ONE TEASPOON (Available at Revolve), $108; Leather Belt, LAUREN RALPH LAUREN (Available at T.J. Maxx), $25; Gold Bangle, GORJANA, $60; Gold Bangle, GORJANA, $68; Gold Necklace, GORJANA, $68; Gold Rings, GORJANA, $45; Yukon XL Denali, GMC

Rumi Neely is a friend I've been seeing at fashion shows for years. She is so, so, so good-looking and well-dressed that she is never not in the front row, where all the most important fashion people are assigned to sit. I go to the same show covered in granola crumbs with ill-fitting pants and get a seat in the nosebleed section where I can gaze upon her. (She also has a really hot clothing collection, Are You Am I, which you should go check out right now.) Somehow, when Rumi clutches a flower to her breast while leaning against a Jeep, it looks normal and cool.

To recreate the image, we had to borrow a white SUV and find the perfect fluffy rose. I also had to go outside in the middle of Manhattan wearing shorts that Cosmopolitan.com's resident stylist and senior style editor Charles Manning called "janties." The man who drove the car we borrowed exited the vehicle and stood on the street with my photo shoot squad and watched as I was instructed to sit on the bumper of the car. The only good part about taking this photo, for me, was that closing my eyes allowed me to block out all the passersby rubbernecking as they passed trying to figure out what the hell I was doing sitting on a car and rubbing a rose on my face.

When I posted this photo, one of my followers realized it was so out of character for me that she just wrote: "whut."

Follow Rumi Neely on Instagram.

2. Walk nonchalantly in front of taxis without getting killed by said taxis.

Amy Instagram Screen

(Image credit: Instagram)

Black Strapless Top, SUSANA MONACO (Available at Revolve), $74;Black Culottes, H&M, $60; Gold Bangle, GORJANA, $68; Gold Rings, GORJANA, $45; Black Bag, MARC BY MARC JACOBS (Available at Revolve), $348; Gladiator Sandals, SCHUTZ, $200

I loved this outfit because, even though I own zero pairs of culottes, today's most fashionable bottoms, they are comfy and offer much way coverage than janties. Thank you, style genius Aimee Song, for turning me onto them. This shot took a lot of me dashing into the street and running back to the curb to avoid dying. Fortunately, flats allow for narrow escapes of death.

Follow Song of Style on Instagram.

3. Be photographed with beautiful fruit whenever possible.

Amy Instagram Screen

(Image credit: Instagram)

Black Button Up, IRIS & INK (Available at The Outnet)

Please note that the gorgeous Julia Engel's watermelon 'gram has an incredible and jealousy-inducing 20.6k likes. Mine has ... 161. Perhaps owing to my modest outfit and the fact that I was partially obscured by Columbus Circle's shrubbery, no one seemed to notice or care that a 30-year-old woman wearing hair extensions and bronzer was just sitting in the middle of a New York City fountain plaza cradling a quarter watermelon in a dishtowel. Again: YOLO.

Follow Julia Engel on Instagram.

4. Go bold with your look. Fringe and large hats automatically take a look from snooze to OOH!

Amy Instagram Screen

(Image credit: Instagram)

Black Hat, NASTY GAL; Black Crop Top, EVIL TWIN (Available at Revolve), $49; Black Skinny Jeans, A GOLD E (Available at The Outnet); Gold Watch, NIXON (Available at Revolve), $100; Gold Bangle, GORJANA, $68; Gold Bangle, GORJANA, $60; Gold Bangle, GORJANA, $68

Chiara Ferragni, also known as the Blonde Salad, has an awesome wardrobe that I want to own and wear without looking as ridiculous as I do in this photo. We made these pants by pinning fringe from the craft store to the seam of a pair of black jeans. They were incredibly tight, which made sitting down in them while wearing a crop top feel absolutely horrible. What you can't see in this photo is my squad telling me to bend my knee more and sit up straighter as I attempt to defy all laws of tight pants physics.

Follow Chiara Ferragni on Instagram.

5. Sneaker bows on fleek.

Amy Instagram Screen

(Image credit: Instagram)

Yellow Bucket Bag, MARC BY MARC JACOBS (Available at Shopbop), $278; White Sneakers, ADIDAS, $75; Car, GMC

Eva Chen, former editor in chief of Lucky magazine and now the director of fashion partnerships at Instagram, is famous for the shots she takes of her shoes and bags and fruit snacks from the backseat of a car. I loved taking this picture because I got to put my feet up and Charles, the stylist, tied my shoes for me like I was a toddler. Apparently if I were to tie them myself, the bows would look like shit, said Charles.

Follow Eva Chen on Instagram.

6. DNGAF.

Amy Instagram Screen

(Image credit: Instagram)

Army Jacket, NLST (Available at Shopbop), $575; Star Tank, SUNDRY (Available at Shopbop), $78; Denim Culottes, NASTY GAL, $98; Nude Wedges, H&M, $15; Gold Necklace, GORJANA, $68

Leandra Medine became famous by posting photos of her very fashionable and trendy outfits to her site, Man Repeller. She is another impossibly glamorous friend who looks cool in everything, no matter how bizarre, and takes photos of her outfits next to toilets because she has a sense of humor and is a genius. She actually inspired me to start taking all my outfit shots in the bathroom stalls of Cosmopolitan.com. Because nothing says fashion like a toilet. It's no yellow taxi, but at least it can't run you over.

Follow Leandra Medine on Instagram.

7. Take shameless mirror selfies.

Amy Instagram Screen

(Image credit: Instagram)

Gold Bag, 3.1 PHILLIP LIM (Available at Shopbop), $750; White Crop Top, TORN BY RONNY KOBO (Available at Shopbop), $148; White Skinny Jeans, CITIZENS OF HUMANITY, $178; Nude Wedges, H&M, $30; Gold Bangle, GORJANA, $68; Gold Bangle, GORJANA, $60; Gold Bangle, GORJANA, $68

Here I am again in a crop top and extremely tight pair of pants. The wonderful makeup artist from La Voila Beauty tried to double my mouth in size using lip liner and gloss for this photo. I took a bathroom break after she finished, which means I had to leave the safety of my squad and be seen by normal people who probably looked at my lips and thought I was trying to hide a herpes outbreak. Also, I could not for the life of me perfect Kylie's sexy pose. I think when you've spent the past 10 years working at a desk job, your joints only allow your body parts to rotate about a centimeter in any given direction. I posted this photo last over the course of my week of posting these pictures because it's probably the most embarrassing image of me on the entire Internet.

Follow Kylie Jenner on Instagram.

8. Copy this Kendall hair shot if you want all the likes.

Amy Instagram Screen

(Image credit: Instagram / Kathleen Kamphausen)

Sheer White Lace Dress, FOR LOVE AND LEMONS, $288; Gold Necklace, GORJANA, $68

This look was nice because all I had to do was lie on the floor while people turned my hair into heart shapes. I highly recommend that everyone lie down on the floor and copy this Instagram right now. It is my most-liked photo to date. And I never would have gotten there without my team of eight people, which is why, now that this experiment is over, I will never, ever be an Instagram celebrity.

Photography: Kathleen Kamphausen Styling: Charles Manning Hair: James Milligan for La Voila Makeup: Kaman Lam for La Voila Vehicles: Provided by GMC

And for more funny fashion experiments, check out Amy Odell's new book, Tales From the Back Row, available now wherever books are sold!

Amy Odell

Amy Odell is the editor of Cosmopolitan.com. Chief amongst her interests are cats and Beyonce. She is a feminist (thank you for asking) and ex-fashion journalist. She is the author of the hilarious book of essays, Tales from the Back Row: An Outsider’s View From Inside the Fashion Industry.