Beyoncé's Big Surprise...Is That She's Vegan

When Beyoncé appears in a Good Morning America teaser saying "This is something I have to share with everyone," you sit and wait, your body quivering with anticipation.

https://twitter.com/GMA/status/607725464245964800

You suddenly develop a "cough" accompanied by a "103-degree fever." You build a Rube Goldberg machine that refreshes Twitter every 20 seconds. You are Schekinah:

https://twitter.com/SchekinahJ/status/607888922673352705

But then you find out Beyoncé—BEYONCÉ—made you tardy to whatever it is you have to do (work, maybe?) because the thing she was dying to tell you was that she has decided to eschew animal by-products. And that, by doing so, her skin has become "really firm and a lot tighter." True, she also says two sentences about celebrating her curves, struggling with diets, and finally finding a plant-based lifestyle that works for her, but OH MY GOD I USED A SICK DAY FOR THIS?! (To be fair, the whole vegan meal-delivery system thing should have given it away.)

At least you are not alone in your disappointment.

https://twitter.com/LorenRaye/status/607889933118918656

https://twitter.com/laire/status/607928095753019392

We'll laugh about this someday.