When Beyoncé appears in a Good Morning America teaser saying "This is something I have to share with everyone," you sit and wait, your body quivering with anticipation.
https://twitter.com/GMA/status/607725464245964800 (opens in new tab)
You suddenly develop a "cough" accompanied by a "103-degree fever." You build a Rube Goldberg machine that refreshes Twitter every 20 seconds. You are Schekinah:
https://twitter.com/SchekinahJ/status/607888922673352705 (opens in new tab)
But then you find out Beyoncé—BEYONCÉ—made you tardy to whatever it is you have to do (work, maybe?) because the thing she was dying to tell you was that she has decided to eschew animal by-products. And that, by doing so, her skin has become "really firm and a lot tighter." True, she also says two sentences about celebrating her curves, struggling with diets, and finally finding a plant-based lifestyle that works for her, but OH MY GOD I USED A SICK DAY FOR THIS?! (To be fair, the whole vegan meal-delivery system (opens in new tab) thing should have given it away.)
At least you are not alone in your disappointment.
https://twitter.com/LorenRaye/status/607889933118918656 (opens in new tab)
https://twitter.com/laire/status/607928095753019392 (opens in new tab)
We'll laugh about this someday.
Chelsea Peng is a writer and editor who was formerly the assistant editor at MarieClaire.com. She's also worked for The Strategist and Refinery29, and is a graduate of Northwestern University. On her tombstone, she would like a GIF of herself that's better than the one that already exists on the Internet and a free fro-yo machine. Besides frozen dairy products, she's into pirates, carbs, Balzac, and snacking so hard she has to go lie down.
-
I Spent Hours Scrolling Nordstrom's Spring Sale—These 31 Pieces Are Worth Your Money
I gasped.
By Brooke Knappenberger
-
This Protein Treatment Can Save Your Curl Definition In A Single Use
Your hair, only stronger.
By Gabrielle Ulubay
-
Khloé Kardashian Does Not "Miss Her Old Face," She'll Have You Know
She looks great, which is not a reason to apologize.
By Iris Goldsztajn
-
Sarah Hyland and Adam Devine Play 'How Well Do You Know Your Co-Star?'
The 'Modern Family' stars reunited for the 'Pitch Perfect' spinoff series.
By Brooke Knappenberger
-
The 78 Best Celebrity Couple Halloween Costumes of All Time
Honestly, we're impressed.
By Charlotte Chilton
-
Super Rare Photos of Queen Elizabeth as a Young Woman
From childhood snapshots to portraits as a young princess, beautiful and rare photos of the late Queen Elizabeth as a young woman.
By Mehera Bonner
-
King Charles III and Queen Consort Camilla's Relationship: A Timeline
With the passing of Queen Elizabeth II, Charles has ascended to the throne as king.
By The Editors
-
Who Is Next in Line for the British Throne, Explained
And yes—Harry and Archie are still in the line of succession.
By Andrea Park
-
Who Is Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's Fiancé Riley Roberts?
AOC's husband-to-be is an "easygoing redhead" who lives with her in D.C.
By Katherine J Igoe
-
68 Times the Kardashians Posed Fully Nude and Owned It
And we mean fully nude—as in, not a shred of clothing.
By Bianca Rodriguez
-
Who Is Jonathan Owens, Simone Biles's Fiancé and NFL Player?
"The easiest yes!" Simone wrote about the couple's engagement.
By The Editors