Just Getting a Suitor To Approach You Will Enhance Your Like-ability

Hello, my lovelies:

I'm glad to see yesterday's post ignited such a good debate! After hearing what everyone had to say, my thought is this: Perhaps, after talking to someone we are interested in for ten minutes, it might be good to get pro-active and ask--somehow, subtly--if the person in question is single? Just a thought.


Anyway, onto new things--namely, a new study (published in the latest issue of that oh-so-hip journal, Psychological Science) which found that, among other things, the mere act of physically approaching a potential partner seems to increase the amount of attraction we feel for that person. So, for instance, the other night, when I walked towards that guy in the bar? By simply striding over to him (or, at least, making a conscious choice to approach him, and then acting on that decision), I helped to make him seem more attractive to me.

I'm sorry if that all sounds like a bunch of goobledy-gook. But stay with me, here, because there's a take-home message for you.

And just what is it?

Well, I'm so glad you asked. The message is that if we can somehow manage it so that people we're attracted to approach us, instead of us being forced to approach them ourselves, we'll be better off. We'll seem hotter to them.

Knowing this, I decided to skip a party I was invited to way up in Harlem the other night; my friend Duval wanted me to attend the shin-dig so she could set me up with the host. But instead of going, I stayed home.

I know, I know: what kind of flirtatious dating blogger stays HOME when she has a party to go to? But it is a hike-and-a-half to get up there, and it was raining, and a movie I love (The Piano) had just arrived from Netflix ... and I also thought: Hey, I just read that study in Psychological Science, and I should get this dude to make an effort to approach me! Because, like, if I do all the traveling, wouldn't that be the same as me approaching him?

I think yes.

So I stayed in, watched Holly Hunter and Harvey Kietel get sexy with each other (and man, they get sooo sexy), and sent Mr. Harlem Mystery Man an email, suggesting we get together for a drink sometime.

That way, he'd at least have to put in some effort, rather than having me go directly to him; that would probably increase my value in his eyes.

Brilliant plan, right?


Well ... maybe it wasn't that brilliant. After I emailed him, he read my blog, and, who knows? Maybe it was the fact I mentioned that I had a slight crush on my friend in D.C., Daniel; or the fact that a married dude in an open relationship seems to be hitting on me; or simply the fact that I'm so open about my failed love affairs. But after reading my blog, it was clear he was not very interested in meeting me.

Oh, the trials and tribulations of life as a dating blogger.

Luckily, I have one more ace up my sleeve, a secret weapon that I think might help me get men to come up to me ... maybe? I'll tell you about it Monday. In the meantime, have a great holiday weekend, okay? (And I know there is SO much to catch you up on ... hopefully I'll get up-to-speed on everything next week.)

Put on your sun-tan lotion if you're at the beach this weekend!



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