Lovelies:
Yesterday, I happened to notice (via a Lemondrop article) that a new study out of the UK found that half of the women questioned by researchers said they preferred sex while under the influence of alcohol because it helped them to lose their inhibitions and be more adventurous. Half! The report indicates that the main reason women like to drink before they make out is because doing so helps them suppress their feelings of insecurity about their bodies.
More surprising findings from the study (originally mentioned in London's Daily Mail):
-Four out of ten women have "always" been a bit tipsy when they have slept with a partner for the first time.
-75 per cent of women said they liked to drink before getting into bed with their husband or boyfriend.
-6 per cent of women have never had sex while sober.
The Daily Mail article concludes with a quote from one of the lead researchers, who says: "The fact alcohol plays an integral role in their love lives shows that women are looking for a boost in self-esteem when it comes to their bedroom antics. While many women claim they only drink before sex because it is part of the dating process, a large percentage will actually refuse to get between the sheets without a bit of [booze]. In doing so, many women will be losing self control — and this is when drunken one-night stands are more likely to occur."
She's got a point there. And though I don't think there's anything wrong with one-night stands per se, it's no fun to get so wasted that you do something you regret so much that it makes you feel miserable for a few days. Even more than that, though, sober sex — once you get the hang of it — is VASTLY more pleasurable than drunken sex, in my experience.
Why? Because you do have control over it. I don't mean control in the sense of power or dominance. Simply that you can make your body move in the ways you want it to move. You can think about what's going on. It's easier to give and receive, to ask and to listen, simply because you're way more cognizant of everything that's going on.
Sure, it's scary the first few times that you do it without being the least little bit tipsy. But it's so worth getting used to, if you ask me. One of the other benefits is that it really does help you come to terms with your feelings about your body ... and to recognize that you're plenty sexy enough.
It seems a bit sad to me that there are apparently SOOO many women who feel uncomfortable both with their bods and having sex that they feel the need to lubricate themselves with liquor before they get it on!
Ladies and gents out there: Can you please weigh in with your experiences of drunken sex vs. sober sex?
xxx
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PS: Commenters: First off, I love the discussion that yesterday's post prompted! You guys are so interesting, and smart. To "WriterHer2": I could not agree with you more: In my experience — with one recent exception — guys who are NOT so attractive are always far bigger dicks and neurotic jerks than guys who are relatively attractive and comfortable with themselves. Thank you for pointing that out. ... That is not to say that a guy has to be a Ken doll for me. And Jenny + Zesty Red: I like how you point out that it can be really nice to be the one who is a little more attractive. You really do make it sound very nice! ... Amber: I am ONLY attracted to intelligent men, and am regularly surprised when my friends call the guys I like "geeks" — because to me, they are just amazingly brilliant, creative people! (But in my experience, brains and good looks aren't mutually exclusive!) ... Finally, Staci Linn: I have something against Death Cab! I just do not like most of the songs I've heard — the one HUGE exception being "I'll Follow You into the Dark." I actually get all teared up sometimes, listening to that. Dude DOES write some killer lyrics, as he does in "Such Great Heights." xxx
