5 Reasons Guys Rob the Cradle

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Miley77You may have heard the news: Miley Cyrus is dating an older guy — not that I keep up with her gossip...okay, maybe I do. Keep in mind that she wears a purity ring that ensures she will remain a virgin until she weds. Or course, guys love the challenge of a promise ring...and I believe Britney Spears once sported one.

Keep in mind, also, that celebrities are above the law. There will probably be no legal action taken even though Miley is 16. Jimmy Page, Led Zeppelin's guitarist, visited a 14-year-old groupie in California whenever he breezed into town.

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The phenomenon actually works in reverse for younger guys. I remember when I was younger I was interested in older women who were more experienced. My younger buddies are always on the lookout for women my age, and I am always going for my younger buddies' friends. It all works out to total failure most of the time. Oh well.

There are other reasons for going for younger women — I can speak from personal experience. Lately, I've been hitting on a lot of younger girls.

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Here are the reasons I think guys go for younger women:

Younger Women Seem Happier

Everyone is happier in college and right after college. The real world hasn't had time to jade them and make those stress scars all over their mind, body, and spirit. Some of the best qualities in women, honesty, happiness, and a lot of smiling, can corrode over time when they've been at a horrible job or constantly badgered by an annoying boss. I've noticed that younger girls don't project stress in their faces. The world still feels like their oyster, and it's full of endless possibilities.

I Feel Smart

You guys know I feel dumb around everyone — especially women. When I'm with a younger girl, I feel like I'm teaching her and helping her out. I'm more dependable because, compared to a younger girl, I have a clue. Suddenly, I am the one who understands interest rates and stuff like that. This may explain why most of my relationships with younger girls die, because under no circumstances should I be the one explaining interest rates.

Girls Grow Up Faster Than Boys

It's no secret that girls mature faster than guys. On top of this, some guys never want to grow up. It's a lot easier for a guy to get involved with a younger girl if he is immature. In fact, if girls grow up faster, then it can be argued that a younger girl's maturity level actually matches an older guy's maturity level at some point. I find that younger women are more willing to put up with my shenanigans than older women.

I Know It Won't Work Out

I continue to get into situations that won't work out because I don't want anything to work out.

Unfortunately, my ultimate goal may be to end up alone. What better way to do this than continuing to see girls who won't turn too serious? Also, guys tend to fear marriage and children more than women do. Chances are, with a younger girlfriend,

marriage won't come up in conversation as much.

It's Sick and Twisted, but Guys Like Innocence

I don't think, like a suicide bomber, that Heaven is full of virgins. I actually think Heaven is an

eternal Ravens tailgate with all of my friends and family. I can't get into the Freudian analysis of it all, but guys do find it hot when a girl has that good girl/bad girl duality going on.

It could be argued that Miley is better off with a more mature guy who has learned how to treat a woman well, instead of some guy her age who might hurt/disrespect her. Of course, guys hurt women at all ages, and it could also be argued that Miley is not yet old enough to know who will hurt her and who won't hurt her. At 16, I thought I knew all the right decisions; after all, at 16, I knew as much about interest rates as I do now — but that's not saying much.

What are your thoughts on age gaps in relationships? Is there an optimal age difference? Have you ever been in relationships that worked out for you despite an age gap? Do you think Miley will remain true to her purity ring? Do you agree with my reasons for dating younger women, or is the reason that I'm just really immature?

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