Sex Question: I'm Overweight
Q: Logan, I'm trying to lose weight - so far, I lost 13 pounds, I'm still 193 pounds. So, in that case...that means no sex for me, until I got to my ideal weight. I keep saying to my husband, I need to lose weight first so I can be comfortable with him, I love him dearly but what can I do?
A: Thank you for writing to me. Exploring your sexuality is something that we can do throughout our entire lives. You can always express your sexuality and your desires. But there seems to be an overriding issue here, which is how you feel about your own body. Being overweight doesn't mean that you can't have a good sex life. In fact, there are women of all shapes and sizes who enjoy fulfilling sexual experiences, regardless of age. But I want you to consider that you just got married and your husband loves you as you are. While you may feel like you need to lose weight, it doesn't mean that your husband feels that way. It is still possible to be sexual with husband, if you are up to it. (I know that you have told your husband why you can't be intimate with him, but how has he responded to this?) There is no doubt that it is hard to feel sexual pleasure if you don't feel good about yourself. It is very difficult to be intimate with another person if you are feeling insecure. But remember that there is a sexual component to a marriage and if you aren't into sex, you have to be honest with your husband about what is going on with you and find other way to include sexual pleasure and intimacy into your relationship.