Here are the rest of my
apartment cock-blocks (defined in previous post):
My Two Gargantuan Mutant
Cats
This is the one that I
think all my friends will agree is my biggest cock block. I adopted two cats years back and
they've moved from apartment to apartment with me. I'm not one to give away animals or break commitments to
defenseless things, so they will continue to live with me. However, they are huge. The white one is shy and never poses a
problem. However, Dusty, the super
fat tabby, loves/hates people. He
is at the front door as soon as he hears it unlocking, so you have to shoo him
away as you enter the apartment. He's also used to sleeping in my room so, when I kick him out if I have
a girl over, he scratches at the bedroom door. Not sure how many of you have heard the sound of cat claws
scratching a wooden painted door, but it really is not the most romantic
soundtrack to make out to. If a
girl is comfortable enough to let him in, he'll climb on the bed and then on
us. I can remember specific times,
mid-kiss, looking up and seeing his husky shadow triumphantly standing on her
back. Cat toys are one thing, but
their scratching post is a ghastly shredded thing that sits by my window—and
never goes un noticed by a girl. I
also felt guilty one day because I didn't think they had anough to do so I hung
this wire toy for them off my wall. A girl who looked in on the cats when I was out of town said:
You have to get rid of
that contraption on the wall of your bedroom.
When I don't have anyone
else to stay with me, the cats sleep in my bed and shed. I wash the sheets and covers as much as
I can but it's just not enough. I
try to suggest to girls to get into shirts and shorts, but either way it's
always awkward. In the morning,
girls find themselves covered with cat hair. Perhaps I should start testing how "clingy" girls' clothes
are when I'm out and just eliminate them that way. Oh, and Dusty likes to bite
and scratch too.
My Sunflower Seed Spittoon
One of my favorite snacks
is David Sunflower seeds. Nothing
like cracking open that salty goodness. I love eating them while relaxing and watching TV in bed. I have a little plastic canister on my
night table where I spit the hulls and eventually empty them into the trashcan. If I didn't happen to empty it the
night I bring a girl home, all I can do is warn her up front.
Clothing Mounds
I still do it: just throw my clothes into a pile all
week when I get home from work because I have no time for anything. I usually do wash on the weekend—maybe
during the week if I'm lucky. If I
have dirty mounds of laundry on the ground, hopefully I've shoved them all
somewhere before a girl comes home—but, if I haven't, I just have to hope she
doesn't get creeped out by the pile of clothes by my closet.
Looking over this list
it's clear what I have to do. Maybe I should always assume the possibility of a girl coming over. It will force me to maintain my
apartment cock blocks. That way, I
won't be nervous to bring a girl back and have to get through all the cock
blocking booby traps in my apartment. But, it's just so easy to be lazy sometimes.
So what horrible things
have you encountered at guy's places that have ruined the mood: ex-girlfriend paraphernalia, pictures
of mom next to his bed? And which
of these things about my apartment do you think are the worst? Do you agree with my solution, or do
you have other ideas?
