Only Connect? Observations on Coffee Shop Flirtations


Well, some of the men in my world were kind of annoyed with the sassy way I signed off from my post of yesterday. The notes from one of my (older) male friends went something like this:

Maura! Women have been complaining for years about men marrying trophy wives--and there you go, encouraging them to date nothing but
younger guys? Isn't that a double-standard?

So just let me say: I didn't mean to upset any one! I was just kidding around (although great sexual stamina really IS a turn-on for me). But in the end, of course, what I really want is what readers like Daisy and Edwinna seem to have--quality relationships with loving men, who care enough to give pleasure in other ways.

* * *

In other news ... I thought I'd tell you about what went down at a (different) coffee shop yesterday. Let me preface this little story by saying I am so over-worked this month--deluged with deadlines and other things work-things that people are paying me to do--by which I mean, having phone sex with them.* And, unfortunately, I had to run out in the middle of the afternoon yesterday to see a brownstone some friends were hoping I'd move into with them.** Once the viewing was through, I dashed to nearby Gorilla Coffee to put in some serious typing time.

But alas, when I tried to check my email to see if any new urgent notes from editors had piled up in my inbox, I couldn't get online. As it so happened, however, I was sitting next to the outlet, and therefore sitting across from a guy who was also on a laptop. Without thinking twice, I leaned over and said, "Hey, is there a secret about how to get on the Interweb here?"

Lo and behold, there was a secret--a password--which he kindly told me. He then, chivalrously, peered over at my screen to make sure I was able to get on.

Truth be told, I hadn't given the dude a second thought before I interacted with him; he looked a little older than my usual type, and--silly though it may be--he had old-man-from-the-suburbs eyeglasses that made me think maybe we didn't have the same sense of aesthetics. But he was so sweet when he'd helped me out ... and we seemed to keep peeking at each other over our computers ... I even caught him smiling at me once ... so I started to think, "Hmm, I wonder what this guy is all about?"

Eventually, more of a conversation began, when he picked up a copy of The Onion and a coffee cup that had been on the table the whole time I'd been there, and announced, "Well, I guess this guy isn't coming back," before tossing those things in the trash. Then he asked me if the music in Gorilla was always so loud ... and I admitted the volume actually seemed rather soft that day. (I usually enjoy the pumping tunes--they get me energized to write, and the Gorilla peeps always play great stuff--though occasionally I feel like some important ear fibers are being destroyed.)

Anyway, one thing led to another and we chatted a bit. Turns out the guy is a pilot who used to work for one of the big airlines, although now he's looking for something with a smaller firm, because he thinks that will be less stressful and more fun. I ended up bringing the conversation to a halt after a while--because I needed to work, and I just wasn't that into our chat. Regardless, the dude made my day: I'll take a good coffee-shop flirtation any day of the week.

Here's the lesson learned from that little experience: Nothing could seem more innocent than asking a guy--or girl--for a little computer help in the coffee shop. In my case, it actually wasn't a come-on line ... but it was a perfect opener. Folks, what do you think? Any thoughts on good ways to approach people in coffee shops? I'm sure there are a million ways ...


*I kid!

**Which is not going to happen--the rent is cheap, but that's because the thing is a wreck. Plus, I don't know if I can deal with roommates any more, at this point in my life.

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