7 Funny Threesome Sex Positions

They're never as hot as you think they'll be.

Leg, Finger, Human leg, Elbow, Knee, Wrist, Sitting, Thigh, Foot, Cartoon,

They're never as hot as you think they'll be. Illustrations by Jenny Yuen.

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The Ignorance Is Bliss

Two people log on to a nearby computer and surf popular adult meet-up site Craigslist for a potential third person. Take dick picks. Slowly realize that the type of people that volunteer for anonymous sex on the Internet aren't really the kind of people you want to let into your home. Book a hotel room.

2 of 7
The Third Eye

Start having sex with one person, but keep accidentally making eye-contact with the other person. Try to figure out what they're thinking right now.

3 of 7
The Existential Dog

Oh, this is kind of good. But is it bad that you like it? Consider the future.

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The Informal Evacuation

Decide to leave. On your way out, make a mental note that your partner and sex-friend don't even notice. Announce loudly that you're leaving, and ask if anyone wants anything.

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The Sad Transient

Chill on the couch and listen to all the sex noises. Mindlessly finger yourself because you're still kind of horny. A more advanced technique is to flip through channels without actually watching anything.

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The Aggressive Cricket

Rejoin the party, and try to figure out what you can do that will turn the third person on. Your partner seems to be taking care of most of it, so settle for rubbing thighs.

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The Self-Doubting Frog

Crouch over your partner's face while they have an intimate moment with a stranger in an attempt to get involved. Stay in this position until you suddenly get self-conscious about your butt.

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