They're never as hot as you think they'll be. Illustrations by Jenny Yuen.
1 of 7
The Ignorance Is Bliss
Two people log on to a nearby computer and surf popular adult meet-up site Craigslist for a potential third person. Take dick picks. Slowly realize that the type of people that volunteer for anonymous sex on the Internet aren't really the kind of people you want to let into your home. Book a hotel room.
2 of 7
The Third Eye
Start having sex with one person, but keep accidentally making eye-contact with the other person. Try to figure out what they're thinking right now.
3 of 7
The Existential Dog
Oh, this is kind of good. But is it bad that you like it? Consider the future.
4 of 7
The Informal Evacuation
Decide to leave. On your way out, make a mental note that your partner and sex-friend don't even notice. Announce loudly that you're leaving, and ask if anyone wants anything.
5 of 7
The Sad Transient
Chill on the couch and listen to all the sex noises. Mindlessly finger yourself because you're still kind of horny. A more advanced technique is to flip through channels without actually watching anything.
6 of 7
The Aggressive Cricket
Rejoin the party, and try to figure out what you can do that will turn the third person on. Your partner seems to be taking care of most of it, so settle for rubbing thighs.
7 of 7
The Self-Doubting Frog
Crouch over your partner's face while they have an intimate moment with a stranger in an attempt to get involved. Stay in this position until you suddenly get self-conscious about your butt.
This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io
