What Is a Man?

Every year, Esquire asks, "What is a man?" Well, guys, we'd like to tell you...
captain kirk and spock on star trek
courtesy of Paramount Pictures
Every year, Esquire explains the rules that govern masculinity with its "What Is a Man?" feature. Given the importance of this question, we thought we should get a second opinion and asked some of the funniest women in the country. Here's what they had to say...
captain kirk and spock on star trek
courtesy of Paramount Pictures
1 of 3
What Is a Man?

A man is someone who will not stand for a gentle high-five. When faced with a flimsy-five, he must repeat the action again and again until he is satisfied with the strength, loudness, and redness caused by the forceful vertical meeting of two hands.

A man can do nothing but fumble and cower in the formidable shadow of his arch-nemesis, "The Bra."

-Jen Kwok
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
chuck bass gossip girl
Courtesy of Giovanni Rufino / The CW
4 of 3
What Is a Man?

A man is someone who has five or fewer friends, and can only say five or fewer words to each friend at a time, resulting in a maximum of 5x5x4=100 words exchanged amongst a group of men in any given social situation.

A man thinks the ability to go on and on about different types of Scotch is a marketable skill set.

-Jen Kwok
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
homer simpson
Courtesy of Fox Television
5 of 3
What Is a Man?

A man is like disco night at the bowling alley: fun or just depressing? It's a matter of perspective.

Men have crazy-extensive DVD collections and use store-brand dandruff shampoo, even if they don't have dandruff.

-Jamie Lee
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io
More From Love & Sex