Jennifer Lopez on Learning to Love Herself and Starting Therapy in Her Late Thirties

"I was doing all these things in, like, my personal relationships that didn’t seem like I was loving myself."

For the premiere episode of the new YouTube series Coach ConversationsJennifer Lopez joined author and podcaster Jay Shetty for a discussion about therapy, success, and learning to love herself.

Lopez revealed, "I remember when I was going through therapy at the beginning, you know, kind of in my late thirties, and there was a lot of talk about loving yourself, and I was like, 'I love myself.' But obviously, I was doing all these things in, like, my personal relationships that didn’t seem like I was loving myself, but I didn’t even understand the concept of it. It took time and it’s a journey and it’s still a journey for me."

J.Lo continues to have an incredibly varied career, but when the idea of "reinvention" came up, Lopez said, "People are always like, 'Oh, she reinvents herself. It’s a reinvention.' I don’t like that word." She continued, "I’m not reinventing or trying to be something different or trying to trick people into something new. It’s an evolving."

The actress and singer also revealed how she inspires her children to stay positive. "What you say and what you think, and I tell this to my kids all the time, becomes your reality," the actress said. "If you’re telling yourself, 'I’m gonna be this or I’m gonna be that,' or you’re telling yourself, 'I’m a f*cking loser,' then you’ll be a f*cking loser. Whatever it is, you tell yourself that and it will manifest."

Lopez explained, "I really believe that we create our lives. Again, not just with our actions and the things we do, but the things we think and the self-talk that we give."


nottingham june 13 queen elizabeth ll and catherine, duchess of cambridge visit vernon park during a diamond jubilee visit to nottingham on june 13, 2012 in nottingham, england photo by anwar husseinwireimage

(Image credit: Anwar Hussein)

Amy Mackelden is a freelance writer, editor, and disability activist. Her bylines include Harper's BAZAAR, Nicki Swift, Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, ELLE, The Independent, Bustle, Healthline, and HelloGiggles. She co-edited The Emma Press Anthology of Illness, and previously spent all of her money on Kylie Cosmetics.