You'll never admit it, but you've long suspected that your favorite pop star is maybe not quite the avant garde fashionista you hold her up to be. You see her on stage in some nude, crystal-encrusted unitard and think to yourself, Only her. And yet, there's something so familiar about that bedazzled spandex bodysuit, because, the fact is, she's not the only pop star wearing it. They all are. And it's not just the faux-nudity and sparkles that they share, it's almost every freaking outfit. Not that there's anything wrong with that—there's really only so much you can do with stretch fabric and sequins—it's just freaky, is all. The kind of freaky that, once you see it, you'll never be able to unsee it. Like that time you walked in on your parents having sex and the image was burned into your brain with the heat of a thousand suns.
On that note, here are 22 outfits that pop stars love to wear. Don't say you weren't warned.
1. Metallic Mini With All-Over Fringe
Shimmy and sparkle you can see all the way back in row ZZZ.
2. Black Tuxedo Minidress
Pants and shirts are kinda basic
3. Embellished White Leotard With Curtain Skirt
Just like the little dresses that figure skaters wear during the Olympics.
4. White Cutout Leotard
Because sometimes even a curtain skirt is just too covered up.
5. Sheer Black Lace Gown
You can tell a lot about a person by how high-waisted their briefs are.
6. Bedazzled Red Cutout Leotard
You're not a star if you don't sparkle.
7. Embellished White Ringmaster Costume With Dramatic Matching Hat
Because the music industry is a circus, and pop stars the ones who are in control. Or something like that.
8. Leotard With Padded Hips
The hip cavities on these costumes are filled with exotic feathers from the Bronx Zoo, which are shed naturally during the day while the birds groom themselves. Later, cleaning crews collect the feathers at night while the birds sleep. True story. Maybe. Probably not.
9. Long-Sleeve Black Lace Crop Top and Black Bottoms
Hey, everybody makes mistakes.
10. Metal Robot Armor
But, like, sexy metal robot armor.
11. Sheer Bodysuit With Crystal Embellishments
You know, for modesty.
12. Sheer White Lace Gown
Do you see that faint panty line right there by the hip? Damn right you don't!
13. Jessica Rabbit-Inspired Red Sequin Gown
Side note, how weird was it finding out Jessica Rabbit and Roger Rabbit were married? I guess no weirder than finding out Patty Cake was the cartoon equivalent of sex. Weird.
14. Silver Metallic Bra Top and Coordinating Miniskirt
"Can I really call myself a diva if my butt isn't hanging out the bottom of my skirt?" #DivaDilemmas.
15. White Leotard With Long Drapey Bits
It's like pop star meets shower curtain, but a little more revealing.
16. Lacy Black Catsuit
The pop star equivalent of shearling boots.
17. Flouncey White One-Shoulder Dress
For that one time every few years when they want to look sweet and innocent.
18. Black Gown With a Slit to the Hip
Because that whole sweet-and-innocent thing gets real old, real quick.
19. White Pantsuit
This is for when she needs to show that she's all business: the business of selling out. Stadiums, that is! *Mic drop.*
20. Liquid-Gold Gown With Plunging Back
Rihanna's like, "No one's going lower than me."
21. Sheer Black Catsuit With Black Underwear
This is like minimalism for divas.
22. Red Cross-Front Halter Gown
Okay, so Nicki's dress is not technically a cross-front, but it so wants to be. Just look at the way those straps are curving inward. It's like the dress and Nicki's cleavage are fighting each other for fashion domination.