Say what you will about Kim Kardashian, but you can't deny her makeup game is strong. As a fellow makeup addict, I'm fascinated by her look, so when her makeup artist Mario Dedivanovic revealed all the products he uses on her, I thought, Why not slap them on my face and see what happens?
Here is my bare face for the whole of the World Wide Web to enjoy forever more (just to prove I'm not secretly Kim Kardashian), and the step-by-step transformation is below.
1. I started by waiting for all my colleagues to go home, so I could transform into a Kim K. butterfly in peace, free from ridicule and judgment. I then applied Kimmy's favorite Giorgio (aka "Georgio" as Kimmy spells it) Armani foundation and a shit ton of concealer to highlight.
2. To set all of that in place, I applied three separate powders with a powder puff, because shine is the equivalent of Kris Humphries in the Kardashian world.
3. Featureless and covered in loose powder, I reached for my two contour kits. After contouring my cheekbones, temples, jawbone, and nose, my skin no longer looked like skin. It looked airbrushed, like someone had smeared Vaseline on the lens. I felt like I should have been lying on a sheepskin rug wearing nothing but an oversize leather biker jacket.
4. Next it was time for eyebrows and without the rest of my eye makeup, my strong brows looked more Jafar than Kim K.
5. Then it was time for my favorite step, eye shadow. Mario uses three separate Charlotte Tilbury palettes on Kim, so I decided to recreate her classic smoky bronze eye. The key is to apply a lot of eye shadow under your lower lash line and blend, blend, blend. Think Kim K., not Uncle Fester.
6. As Mario uses his own custom mix of false lashes on Kim, I decided to use individual lashes … a whole pack of individual lashes!
7. Finally it was time for lipstick. Again, Mario uses a custom mix of five Tom Ford lippies (I know, I know).
8. For my hair, I decided to go with Kim's classic middle-parted sleek pony. I sprayed my hair with black root spray and slicked it back as much as I could, without looking like I had just worked an eight-hour shift in a chippy.
From a photography aspect, I loved this makeup and took all the selfies, but when it came for me to actually leave the office and get the subway home…not so much. I actually felt incredibly self-conscious and found myself avoiding eye contact. Didn't really help that when I got a bit sweaty running for my train, my black Kris Jenner root spray started to run down my forehead.
On a scale of Kris Humphries to Kanye West, I would give this makeup look a Reggie Bush. It was fun, but not something I would want to go back to.
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